1 Peter 3:9
This is one of those knotty passages that lays out God’s expectations of roles and responsibilities in marriage. And because our culture has moved so far away from the Bible it is highly controversial.
The headship of the husband and the submission of the wife is not about the superiority of men and the inferiority of women. The truth is many wives are smarter, more articulate, more on the ball than their husbands. But no one can be a man like a man, and no one can be a woman like a woman, and there is nothing sicker than a womanish man and a manish woman! The roles God lays out in marriage is not about superior or inferiority, but God’s authority.
So what is this “weaker vessel” stuff that Peter is giving us. By the way, we do believe this is under the divine inspiration of the Holy Spirit, don’t we?
Guys, this is for us, so straighten up and listen (not like you do to your wife sometimes).
1. Consideration. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge…” Peter is speaking of being considerate. If you are a Christian husband, check your cave-man mentality at the cross. True maleness is not machoism. God calls us to be understanding, sensitive, and doing all we can to meet our wife's needs. It involves a sincere effort to understand her feelings, fears, anxieties, concerns, goals, dreams, and desires. In short, you must be considerate.
2. Chivalry. “Giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.” In what sense are women "weaker?" This has reference primarily to the physical realm. Women are, as a class, physically weaker than men. Now, it is undoubtedly true that there are some men whose wives are physically more powerful than them. But that is unusual, and I believe that even in those exceptional cases, the principle still applies. You are to treat your wife with a gentle chivalry. You can do this in a thousand ways, from opening doors for her to moving furniture and doing the heavy work around the house.
A loving husband would not say to his wife, "After you've changed the tire I'll be glad to take you to the store." We serve them with our strength. This phrase suggests that God designed women to be under the protection of a man, benefiting from his strength. And serving our wives by lending them that strength is one of the main ways we show them a Christlike, sacrificial love.
3. Communion. “And as being heirs together of the grace of life.” Women are not second-class and men first-class when it comes to God’s family. Men and women are “heirs together of the grace of life." Men and women may be unequal physically, but they are equal spiritually. Treat your wife as a spiritual equal because she is. Husband, your role as your wife’s leader does not mean you are her superior. Both of you are utterly dependent on divine grace, and you are heirs together of that grace.
The Spirit filled husband loves his wife not for what she can do for him, but because of what he can do for her. That is exactly how Christ's love works. He loves us not because there's something in us that attracts Him, not because He gains any benefit from loving us, but simply because He determined to love us and delights to bestow on us His favor.
Since this is the “Getting it Together” series I want to spend most of my time thinking about the phrase, “heirs together of the grace of life.”
Mormons teach that being “heirs together of the grace of life” means that couples can be married for eternity. Guys, look real excited about that possibility. But Jesus taught that in heaven “they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven,” Matthew 22:30. Guys, this is where you look real disappointed.
“The grace of life” is God’s gift of eternal life and everything that it involves. Most of the time we just think about eternal life involving…..
· Forgiveness….getting rid of the guilt and burden of sin.
· The presence of God’s Spirit in us...abiding, guiding, teaching.
Seldom do we take that phrase, “the grace of life” or “eternal life” far enough.
Let’s take a look at a couple of “heir” passages of the New Testament.
· Galatians 3:26-4:7
· Romans 8:14-17
Did you know that believers in Jesus Christ are both adopted and born into the family of God. The Bible uses both aspect of our belonging to the family of God.
· Adopted into God’s family...We are in “Adam’s family,” and inherited from him something—a sinful nature. All his defects, all his problems—everything became our because of his disobedience. Are there any people here who are adopted? It’s a great thing. God did that for us. We were in the wrong family, and by salvation made us His sons and daughters. By adoption God gives us His name.
· Born into God’s family...Through the rebirth God gives us His nature. We are made “partakers of the divine nature” 2 Peter 1:4 says.
How do we treat our children, as opposed to the neighbors’ children? Well, our children are superior, of course. We love respect of neighbors’ children, but they are not our children. God has a special relationship with His children. He loves us, protects us, watches over us, plans for us, and had made preparation for us for all eternity.
The “glory” that awaits God’s children is beyond anything any of us can imagine.
All that God owns is to be committed to us.
“What God has in mind for this beguiled and driven race of men who are not redeemed by faith in Christ is beyond description!” Ray C. Stedman
Our Inheritance is STAGGERING. Who are these people for whom God has set aside this vast inheritance? It is to those…who are nothing...who have nothing...who deserve nothing. Our heirship is that which we share through Jesus Christ. Hebrews 1:2 tells us Jesus has been “appointed heir of all things.” Romans 8:17 says we are ‘heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ.”
Our Inheritance is SECURED, 1 Peter 1:4.
· “Incorruptible…” Time does not tarnish this treasure.
· “Undeflied…” Sin does not tarnish this treasure.
· “That fadeth not away…” Memory does not tarnish this treasure. When ancient athletes won their race they were given evergreen, floral crowns, that did what….dried up, faded, and crumbled into nothing.
· “Reserved in heaven for you…” The believer’s inheritance is not held on this earth. The believer’s inheritance is securely held in the “Bank of Heaven” whose owner and president has never lost an investment.
Ephesians 1:13-14 assured us that the person of the indwelling Holy Spirit, with whom we are sealed, is “the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of His glory.” That word “earnest” is still used in real estate. It means “the down payment to guarantee the final purchase.”
Our Inheritance is SUFFICIENT for all eternity, Matthew 25:31-34. “When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then shall He sit upon the throne of His glory; And before Him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And He shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.” He prepared the kingdom for us and then prepares us for the kingdom.
Our Inheritance should SUSTAINS us now, Romans 8:16-18. All along this journey there is lose and pain, difficulties and obstacles. But there is no reason to get or stay discouraged. Our sorrow may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. There is another “together” statement in Romans 8:17, “If so be that we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified together.” All of God’s children, all believers will be “glorified together.”
Paul takes it for granted that Christians will “suffer.” Now is the time for crowning of thorns; then for crowning with glory.
I love what Richard Baxter says. “By the blood we can overcome the….
· Violence of the world
· Snares of Satan
· Seducements of the flesh
· Curse of the law
· Wrath of an offended God
· Accusations of a guilty conscience
· Vexing doubts and fears of an unbelieving heart.
And arrive safe at the presence of God. We are the purchased possession...the fruit of the blood of the Son of God.”
What kind of people would Christians be in their lives and in their duties if their inheritance was always on their minds?
· Would they be sad?
· Would they avoid suffering?
· Would they be afraid to die?
Would we not be thinking every day of every year until we received our inheritance?
No wonder Paul prayed that the Ephesians would have the eyes of their understanding enlightened; that they might know what is “the hope of His calling, and what the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.”
Difference between “heir” and “rewards” for works.